The 12th

Today is the 12th. To some it’s just another day of the month but for us it’s another reminder of another month that our baby girl has been gone. She would have been a year and a half today. Looking back I can’t believe it’s been that long since we’ve had to say goodbye, and that this much time has passed without her here. If I let my mind wander I escape entirely to a place where my little girl is still alive. Where her heart is still beating and with each day she grows a little more. I picture what she would have looked like, what she would have been like. If her blonde hair would have stayed that way or taken on a different color. I try and picture her little voice and what it would have sounded like when she said “Mommy”. I see her excited for her little sister. Putting her ear up to my belly, feeling her sisters kicks. Excited to have a new playmate. On quiet days I imagine her running through our house, the sound of her little feet on the wood floors. The wetness of her sweet little kisses and the warmth of her hugs. It’s a beautiful place to be, in my world where Averie is still alive. And more often then not, I find myself never wanting to leave.

I love you sweet baby girl

Always Loved, Never Forgotten, Forever Missed


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  1. dearmilliejane

    August 12, 2016 at 11:09 pm

    Sending strength & love to you on this day! Don’t those emotional waves just keep rolling!

    1. Crystal S

      August 13, 2016 at 10:28 pm

      Thank you so much ❤️ Yes the waves don’t stop do they?

      1. dearmilliejane

        August 13, 2016 at 10:52 pm

        No they don’t, day by day ☺️

  2. mymelaninmatters

    August 23, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    This brought tears to my eyes!

    On the 2nd July i lost my son and reading this just reminded me that I am not alone with these thoughts and feelings. One thing I am certain of is that we have beautiful little angels who comfort every wave of sadness we feel! x

    1. Crystal S

      August 23, 2016 at 12:15 pm

      I am so very sorry for your loss! My heart hurts when I hear of another Mother that has lost their precious baby. You are defiantly NOT alone it’s amazing the community of loss Mom’s that are out there to help each other and comfort one another. It’s a horrible club to be a part of but so rewarding at the same time! <3

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