To my husband, a truly amazing Father
I got on Facebook briefly yesterday and immediately noticed the posts from everyone sharing their love and admiration for their Father’s and husbands. Old pictures taken with Father’s, new pictures of husbands smiling proudly holding their babies. After a few minutes I couldn’t look anymore. The ugly truth was as beautiful as these tributes were they made me sad.
Days like Father’s day can be so trying for some. Perhaps you lost your Father making this day hard to get through without tears. Or maybe you have lost a child and their absence is felt so strongly that no amount of gifts or cards could make this day feel complete.
Three Father’s Day’s have gone by without our sweet Averie. With each one I am reminded of the strength of my husband. When we lost Averie he put his needs last and focused completely on me. Despite the pain of his own broken heart.
During my recovery period he helped me bathe, tended to my scar and helped get me dressed. When I wept, blaming myself for what had happened, he held me and assured me it wasn’t my fault. I can’t imagine the fear he experienced as he watched me get wheeled away in a hurry unable to do anything. Unsure of what was happening or what would happen.
When it was time to figure out burial options he took charge and called the funeral homes. He filled out the paperwork for Averie’s death certificate. He did it all. Night after night he drove back home to tend to Pistol our Dog, and when he returned he slept in a chair, by my bedside because they didn’t have any beds available for him.
When Isabella was born I watched my strong husband step up and do it all again. He held my hand while I screamed in pain, and then watched again while I was wheeled away to surgery in a rush. Unsure if this time would be just like the last. Though the ending story was very different, he still once again put his needs behind my own.
Every 2 hours like clockwork when I went to the NICU to feed Isabella, regardless of the time it was, he got up with me. He slept in a chair for the first few nights because they didn’t have a bed for him, and after the two nights he got a chair that turned into a tiny bed that was anything but comfortable. He filled out the paperwork, he got me food, he once again did it all.
Zach may not have been able to raise Averie with me, but his actions when she left us to soon showed me his capacity of being an amazing Father. Now with Isabella here I see his dedication to his girls and that he would do absolutely anything for them.
I wrote briefly about the loss Father in another post and how they get overlooked a lot. Most of the time us Mother’s get the most attention because we delivered the child. We are hurting not just emotionally but also physically. I know a lot of things are done for the Mother’s. They get gifts, they get books, very rarely things are done for the Father’s.
After we lost Averie we got Zach a book about grief for Father’s (link at the bottom of page). It is my goal to do something for the Father’s, in honor of my own husband. I would like to put something together to donate to hospitals on behalf of Father’s. If you have any ideas of what to include in these packages please comment because I’m looking for suggestions.
I don’t know how I would have survived without you Zach. Thank you for loving and supporting our little family and being not just an amazing husband but an even more amazing Father. I love you so so much.
This link is an affiliated link, meaning we may receive a small compensation. Proceeds from these compensations will help support our little family as well as help us in our goal in donating baskets to bereaved Father’s.