A much needed break
I took a much needed break from my blog. As honored as I am to share other’s stories, that’s the only direction my blog was taking. I wasn’t making the time to write about Averie or my feelings, my thoughts.
I got to a point where I wasn’t sure if anyone was still interested in what I had to say, and in a way I didn’t really know what else I had to say about any of it. Averie has now been gone for 2 1/2 years. Did I have anything knew to tell anyone?
These thoughts were constant with me to the point I even thought about just shutting down my blog. But then something happened the other night. While looking through photos I stared into the face of my beautiful Averie and started to cry. I have to keep going for her. I’m doing this to help other’s and share her legacy with as many people as I can.
My Mom asked me the other day if I had known that my great Grandma on her side, had lost a baby shortly after birth. I hadn’t known that. As crazy as it is to think how history has repeated itself it also made me think. I want my future family to be able to look back and read my words. Maybe someday I can touch someone, or help them if they find themselves in the same position.
After we lose our babies time keeps going on, but regardless of the time that has passed we always find ourselves with new struggles. Anxieties that weren’t there before. We keep living, therefore we keep experiencing. So while I may not think I have anymore to give, anything more to share, I have life itself to write about.
This recent break was much needed, but it also feels good to be back.
We recently got back from a trip to Utah where we were able to see our families. Isabella was able to meet so many family members. Aunts, uncles, cousins and even her Grandpa, my Father. Every time someone met Isabella for the first time my heart got a little bit bigger. Surprisingly I didn’t feel the guilt that they were unable to meet Averie. For me I felt like they were meeting her in a way because she is so much a part of Isabella.
While we were there my good friend Tiffany, that I’ve known since 6th grade, offered to take our family photos. Not only was it amazing seeing Tiff and laughing with her, she took some of the most memorable and touching pictures. The thing that made it so special was that we were able to include Averie. While taking the pictures she showed me a few and I couldn’t contain the tears. They are perfect in every way.
If you are in Utah looking for a great photographer Tiffany is your girl! Find her here on Facebook!