All I want for Christmas

I keep getting asked what I want for Christmas and each time I tell people that I don’t need anything. The truth is I don’t want anything because what material item is going to fill the huge missing part in my heart?

No present will make me feel complete, no amount of money, nothing.

The reality is, if I had my Christmas wish and could ask for anything and could receive anything it’s obvious what I would ask for.

I want Averie back, I want her here. I want to see her wake up on Christmas morning with so much excitement to see what Santa has brought her and her little sister. I want to be able to sing her Christmas songs and take pictures of her and Isabella in their matching pajamas. I want to hug her and feel her little arms around me. I want my family complete.

That is what I want for Christmas.

Lately Isabella has been squeezing me when she hugs me. She will pull me in with her little arms and squeeze as tight as she can. It’s like she knows what I need. In her tiny embrace I feel like she’s hugging me not just for herself, but for her sister as well. When she does it I can’t help but get emotional.

This Holiday season, if you are reading this, I remind you to think of the things that truly matter in life. Life isn’t about giving or receiving the perfect gift. It’s not about the material things, having the perfect house the best new car. It’s about the people in it. The connections you make, the ones you love.

So kiss your children and hold them tight tonight. Call your parents and tell them you love them. Support and love each other regardless of the silly things that bug you.

Be nice, be loving and stop getting so defensive and thinking you need to prove that you are right. Do something nice for a stranger. Smile, make eye contact, touch someone’s life and be memorable.

If you can’t do any of this for yourself, do it for me. Better yet, do it for Averie. My sweet girl never got to do these things herself, so do it for her. That’s why I do it. I do it all for her.

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3 Comments

  1. Ashley

    December 14, 2017 at 4:35 am

    I love this so much Crystal!!! And I love you!!

  2. Amy

    December 14, 2017 at 11:58 am

    My response is the same. People have been hounding me for lists and I don’t want anything. Nothing can make this time of year better. Nothing can fill the void in my heart. I just don’t care for anything. Thinking of you and Avery! 🎄

    1. Crystal

      December 19, 2017 at 12:58 am

      Thank you so much Amy! Material items definitely don’t mean anything after you’ve lost a child and Holidays are never the same. Thinking of you and Asher this season as well 💗💗

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