When the tragedy of losing a child happens, it’s often normal for people to comfort the mother. Coming from a place of experience, I feel a lot of times that the man goes unnoticed in it all. Men are fixers they are the strong ones that have to step up and take charge. Their wife is hurting therefore they have to support her and be her rock. But they are hurting too. They just show it differently. I recently found this poem online that puts it perfectly:
A Dad Hurts Too – Author Unknown
People don’t always see the tears a dad cries, his heart is broken too when his child dies. He tries to hold it together to be strong, even though his world’s gone wrong. He holds his wife as her tears fall, comforts her through it all. He goes through his day doing what he’s supposed to do, but a piece of his heart has been ripped away too. So when he’s alone he lets out his pain, and his tears come like falling rain. His world has crashed in around him, and a world that was once bright has gone dim. He feels he has to be strong for others, but Dads hurt too, not just Mothers. He searches for answers but none are to be found, he hides behind a mask when he is feeling down. He smiles through his tears, he struggles and holds in his fears. But what you see on the outside is not always real, men don’t always show how they really feel. So I’d like to ask a favor of you. The next time you see a Mother hurting over the loss of her child. Please remember…a Dad hurts too.
This is dedicated to my husband who is my rock and an amazing Father. Please reach out to those Fathers that have lost a child. They may not show it but they need your love and support as well.