Emotions

Sacred Moments

I am what some may call a hermit. Definitely not by choice as much as circumstance. In order to be money savvy we have just one car which my husband takes to work each day. I work from home where I sit on my couch and work in my pajamas. It may seem nice to some but the reality is I don’t get out much. When someone rings my door bell I open it much like I think a vampire would, guarding the sun from my eyes afraid it will turn me to dust. I will walk by a mirror and take a second look because I am so pale I consider myself as close to see through as you can get. Realizing that the sun will be taking leave very soon due to the brutality of the northern New York winters, I decided to pay it a visit today on this abnormally warm November day. I took a seat on a red foldable chair outside and closed my eyes. It welcomed me like an old friend, softly touching my face with its warmth. The cool breeze blew through my hair and rustled the trees and grass around me. Humming of nearby vehicles cut through the silence but I didn’t stir. Sitting peacefully outside I watched behind closed eyes as the light shown in through my eye lids. At that moment the warmth incased my entire body and a tear ran down my cheek. I could feel her. Averie was all around me. She was the breeze through my hair, the warmth of the sun on my face. The sound of the wind, her voice. She was all around me. I breathed her in and stayed in that moment for some time. Not moving for fear the feeling would pass. Then like a whisper in the wind I felt her say “I’m not going anywhere.” I always fear that a day will come that I will lose her that I won’t be able to feel her anymore. Mundane days block out all feeling and each day is just like the last. I tend to disconnect from myself and everything is shut out by a phone or some sort of device. But in that moment of mindfulness when all distractions were gone she was there and I could feel her so strong. Those moments I now crave and I will look forward to them often. A moment to escape the harshness of reality and to hang out with my little girl. 

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Sacred Moments

  1. I don’t even know what to say. All I can do is feel. I feel your passion, I feel your pain, I feel your love for beautiful little Averie. Those are the moments we should all strive for. You will always feel her around, she will never leave your side. You are her amazing mama. I love you sis

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s