Emotions · Hope

Tests, shots & ultrasounds OH MY : A pregnancy update

I have always hated the idea that in order for me to be watched more closely during pregnancy I had to lose my beautiful daughter. I’m also finding with this pregnancy that the doctors I had with Averie didn’t do nearly as much testing as they probably should have considering all the strikes I have against me. I also understand that none of it was what ultimately caused the problems which led to my pre term labor, but it just pains me inside to think she didn’t get the same care like her sister is getting. I am aware that sometimes there is no need for additional care until a problem arises. That sometimes there are never those red flags, and some situations can’t be prevented as much as we want them to.

Having said all that I am blessed for the care we are receiving this time around. We have been lucky enough to see our little girl on screen at 7,9,10,12,18 and 22 weeks so far. While I get cervical length checks every two weeks, we get to hear her strong heartbeat, which only makes us happier. At 16 weeks I started weekly progesterone shots which will continue through 36 weeks as a precaution to prevent another pre term labor. Baby girl has had her thyroid looked at thanks to my Graves’ disease and will be checked again later on as everything looks great now. She was able to have an echocardiogram this week to check her heart since I had a heart defect as a baby and we were told her heart looked great and strong and she wouldn’t need to return after birth (insert sigh of relief here!) Earlier in the pregnancy I tested as a carrier for cystic fibrosis which I never was asked to be tested with Averie and if I did then I never received results. When the doctor called me to tell me I was a carrier I thought great…another thing against me. We held our breath for a week or so waiting for Zach’s blood test to come back and luckily he tested negative (insert another sign of relief here!)

Despite having an anterior placenta, I have been lucky enough to feel this little one since 13 weeks around the same time I started to feel Averie’s little flutters. Her first big kick was at 19 weeks and now she loves to kick me morning noon and night. She’s a strong one this one, and nothing makes me happier (she’s kicking me right now 😊)

Overall things have been looking great and I’ve managed to push any negative thoughts about not bringing this little one home out of my head. It’s an easy thought to have pop up because the concept feels so foreign knowing we didn’t get that chance with Averie. Once we reach 33 weeks, when we lost our beautiful first, I may have more feelings and emotions but for now I am taking everything in and enjoying every moment with this little miracle growing inside me ❤️🌈


2 thoughts on “Tests, shots & ultrasounds OH MY : A pregnancy update

  1. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter Averie. Thank you for writing this; I’m currently struggling to feel happy. After we lost our daughter Kenley @ 38+4, we were told we needed IVF to conceive again. After 7 months, here we are and I’m currently pregnant with Kenley’s little sister. Your post gives me hope that I might be able to feel joy again. I want to, it’s just incredibly hard and I’m not sure how to allow my grief and joy to live in my heart side by side.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Randi thanks so much for reaching out! I’m so sorry to hear about your sweet Kenley. The balance between grief and joy is a hard one and I always try to tell myself I’m doing the best I know how at the moment. Don’t forget that every feeling you feel is real and ok. Embrace those feelings and then let them go. Be gentle with yourself I think as loss Moms we always find a way to feel bad about something but there is no right way to do any of this. Congratulations on your new little one! How far along are you now? Please feel free to reach out whenever you need to ❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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