Last week while scrolling through the pregnancy app I have I came across a specific post one women wrote. I wish I had screen shot it but I hadn’t. She was telling those that had suffered a loss to please stop posting about it in the general pregnancy group that there was a specific place for it: the loss group. She went on to say that it’s hard to read about others losses because women start to question the fate of their own. I read through some of the comments and some women thought her comment was unsympathetic as others agreed with her that they didn’t want to see the posts. So it got me thinking. My first reaction was sadness. That as women we can’t put our own feelings of fear aside to console a bereaved mother. I know what it feels like to be worried about losing a baby I think most women experience that fear at some point but when has anyone ever lost their child because they read too many stories of mothers that have? I also understand that especially in early pregnancy our hormones are running rampant and we sometimes turn into these creatures that nobody recognizes that even we don’t recognize ourselves. Is that still an excuse to turn a blind eye to others and their losses? When someone loses a loved one in a car accident do we ask them to share their stories with only those that have suffered a similar loss because we will no longer be able to drive or get in a car? When someone loses their child to cancer do we turn a blind eye for fear that our own children will suffer the same fate? Maybe I’m getting off topic it’s just that pregnancy loss/child loss is such a taboo subject for some reason. When the reality is that 1 in 4 women will suffer a loss that many more women each day will need the support and love to get through it. I don’t think banishing them to a specific group like they have the plague is the answer. I understand how it feels to seek comfort in other women that have lost their babies. But I also sought these women out myself not because someone told me I had to. Needless to say I’ve thought about this womens post a lot and thought I would ask others about their opinions whether they have suffered a loss or not.
So if you are reading this please with me your thoughts! I would love to hear your opinions.