Emotions · Life · Pregnancy

An unexpected gift

It’s 4:52 AM (when I first started writing this) and it’s been exactly 24 hours since our little rainbow decided to make an early appearance. At 35&5 on Oct 29th, exactly one month until her due date, Isabella Averie decided it was time to come. 4 lbs 15 oz and 17 inches long our little beauty is finally here. The craziest part? She decided to come in almost the exact fashion as her sister and scare us half to death. Although the parts of her birth are a little different I am still blown away from the similarities. I felt it important I get this all down so I wouldn’t forget any details by waiting. 

Our story begins on Thursday the 27th. Pull up a chair because this gets long. I went to the doctors office and got my second to last progesterone shot, which I was so excited about because I only had 1 more left out of 20! I was almost there! I ran a few errands and then headed back home but started noticing at some point I was getting frequent Braxton hicks. They weren’t painful just tightening. I thought I might be dehydrated so I drank a ton of water. They started tapering off and I thought I was in the clear. I went to sleep that night and because I drank so much water I found myself getting up at least 10 times to use the bathroom. In between getting up I would wake up from somewhat uncomfortable contractions. We had an appointment at the MFM that next morning to do our usual 2 week growth scan and I also have an NST test the same day so I figured they would pick up on my contractions there and I would mention them to the doc. The ultrasound was scheduled first and during it the tech asked me if I had been leaking water. I told her no I didn’t think so, she mentioned my water was very low. During the NST they kept picking up on my contractions, which were still not painful, but consistent. The next thing I knew my doctor was coming in and telling us my fluid was at around 1.3 when 5 is considered low and it’s a reason for concern. They wanted to monitor baby for an extended amount of time overnight for a few days and obviously find out the reason behind the low fluid so she sent us  straight to labor and delivery. The crazy thing is the night before I had a weird dream about this very thing happening, no joke. We get over to labor and delivery and they start pumping me full of water to see if that helps. My cervix is checked and I’m completely closed. No sign of a rupture or an infection in sight. Baby girl was looking amazing on the monitors and  so at that point it was just a waiting game. They were trying to rule out what is causing my low fluid and were told it could be the placenta and how it’s functioning. Contractions are still there and slowly getting a little more irritating. Just around nighttime the contractions start becoming more frequent and more painful. It’s starting to all feel familiar. Lots of back pain and I’m incredibly uncomfortable. I tell the nurse I need something for sleep they give me Benadryl, yet another similarity to Averie’s birth. From here on out I’ll just add one of these when there is something the same 🔺. I took the Benadryl and it didn’t help at all 🔺I talk to a doctor, tell her my concerns.  I knew there would be no sleep at that point should they keep happening. She just tells me sorry and then acts like I would just have to suffer through it. This is after she points out that I’m showing some “smaller” contractions on the monitor. She checks my cervix again no change. So I’m left to fight through them. They get even worse so I call the nurse in again and tell her how bad they hurt so another doctor comes in and agrees to give me morphine. The morphine took a tiny bit of the edge off but it took like 10 min to do that and even then trying to sleep was still so uncomfortable. Then bam, all the pain is back and it’s worse! Can’t talk through them and I just start bawling. I wake up Zach and tell him I can’t do it it’s too painful 🔺 no way if I’m not in labor are they just going to let me sit here and suffer. He calls the doctor back in and they check my cervix I’m actually dilated to a 1 and 50% effaced now.  Because I’m in active labor they agree it’s time to do a csection. Through the pain I tell her thank you thank you! The bad thing is baby girl isn’t responding as good as she should be and her heart rate is dropping with each contraction 🔺Everyone rushes in my room tells me to flip to one side then the other then they ask me to get on my hands and knees 🔺insert panic here. Another emergency csection something we wanted to avoid at all costs! Zach is given his OR clothes and then within seconds I’m told we have to do general anesthesia and he won’t be in the room again. My glasses are off once again 🔺 and I’m led blindly without my husband again back to the OR. The rest turned into a haze like before. Everyone is running around I’m trying to fight through the pain. They insert a catheter in before I’m out cold and OUCH!! It was just craziness. Before I know it I’m dreaming about Zach waking me up and I think I’m punching someone. I’m convinced I’m hitting nurses but was told I was trying to get the tubes out of my throat. First thing I’m told when I wake up is baby is doing good she’s in the NICU being monitored. I’m wheeled to recovery and Zach comes in to tell me he saw her and she looks great 🔺 then shows me a picture. She’s beautiful and looks like her Daddy and Averie. As I’m in recovery, and in so much pain waiting for the drugs to kick in, we are talking about Isabella and how she’s doing so good. Nurses are updating me telling me the same. I’ve heard this before somewhere…we are then told we would go to our room first and then to the NICU but they would tell us when they were ready for us. And so we wait and the wait is killing me 🔺I held my breath with each person that walked in just waiting for bad news. After a half hour the nurses walk in and tell us we can finally visit her. I light up because I’m so excited since I hadn’t seen my baby yet! They wheel me up to NICU and towards our little daughter. She looks like Averie with tubes everywhere and I hold my breath. But there is a difference she’s kicking! She’s sucking on a binky and looking around at the world and when I pull up in my wheelchair she looks right at me with her big beautiful eyes. We weren’t able to hold her yet because she was under a little oxygen hood but just looking at her knowing at one point I thought I might lose her too, was such an overwhelming feeling. I studied everything about her. Her cute little feet & hands, she has a big toe shorter then the other, her blonde shiny hair that looks dirty blond but very blond in the light. And of course her perfect little face. I yearned to hold her but knowing she was doing good and coming home with us eventually I knew I could be patient. We ended up going back later that night and her levels were great so the nurse swaddled her and handed her to me. I looked down at her with tears in my eyes amazed by everything we had been through until that moment. Everything from losing Averie, navigating our grief and finding our way through pregnancy after loss. Every bit of it hard, but every bit worth it. 

I sit here now, in our hospital room, looking back at everything in awe. Who would have thought we would have such a similar experience again but yet such an incredibly different outcome. Isabella is still in the NICU but has done tremendously well. She no longer needs extra oxygen and her breathing is steady. She just now needs to be under the lights for some mild jaundice and her red blood count was a little high so they started treating her for that. We are hoping that she will be able to come home with us soon and we can all go home as a family. I know little Averie was watching out for me, Daddy and her little sister and she always will. Seeing her in her little sister is such an amazing overwhelming feeling. I knew when she would be born I would feel her closer through her sister and I have felt that already. Averie is with us always and forever and our little rainbow is proof of that ❤️❤️ (To read my story about Averie and the similarities you can read it here 😊) 


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